Missing Things

I miss the normal life, but then I never had one. I would love to go see my Mom. I want my grandchild and daughter to visit. I want to go out to dinner and eat food that is not the same old thing. I want things that make life bearable. I miss the bookstore and the local thrift stores. Finding treasure is what I miss the most.

I want to accept the pain I live in every day all day. Someone told me to love my pain, but I have not discovered a way to do that, yet. Each day I rise, get dressed and do what must be done. I do not do a lot, mostly sit at my desk and write my book series. I do art work, drawing and painting to try to help with the creative flow. I miss a life without pain, but then again, I doubt I ever had one.

I am content, thought, deep inside my soul. I live and breathe each day. I try to keep happiness uppermost. I chat with people online and on the phone. I spend time with my husband. Life is good.

You say the seasons we go through in our lives change and are marked by celebrations or things that happen to us. Covid-9 has become a season in our lives this year. It has had everything connected with a season to be impacting our lives. My life int his season has been marked with anxiety peaking its head up over my shoulder. I tell it to go away, then find myself in it, working my way through its worries and stress. I draw and paint, I write, I communicate with friends online.

I try to start mark this time with small celebrations of life. A picture of brightness, a funny photo, a memory, a written story and things that make me happy. This season is going to take its time for all of us.

I am still here!

Pic by Karol Franks https://www.facebook.com/KarolFranksPhotography/

It’s a strange world.  I never imagined I would see a worldwide pandemic in my lifetime. I was going to give tips on how to stay busy at home, but I figure if you haven’t figured it out by now…  Here is an update on my life, instead.

My Writing:
I sent my creative edits on book one of Grey of Dharaven to the publisher and am waiting to hear back about it. I am editing book 2 and have beta readers reading it for content. I finished writing the third book in the series. I started to write the fourth book. 
An author dilemma hit me.  I hated the way I ended book 3, so I took book four’s beginning and made it book 3s ending.  I began book 4 over again and like it much better. Writing can be frustrating, as well as exciting.

Book 1
Grey Dawn of Dharaven: Katz Island: A map found by Earth Dragon Clan born archaeologist Grey Fields leads to an expedition that everyone else thinks is crazy. Not Lara Croft, but National Treasure-ish adventures leading either to the end of her career or the find of the century. #A #AD #F    (To be published 2021)

Art lessons:
Check out my affiliate please. Willowing.org. There is a link to it on my web pages. The paintings below are two pieces I painted with the lessons from this site.

What I have been reading:
Alfred Hitchcock  The Best of Mystery (1976)  A collection of short stories that have murder and mayhem in them.
Shadow and Bones by Leigh Bardugo (2012)  A fantasy adventure. Its a good read.
Spy by Danielle Steel  (2019)  A typical Danielle Steel novel. It’s about a woman who becomes a spy in WWII.
Current reading: Arcady by Michael Williams (1996). Another Fantasy adventure that tells the story of a family and their relationships to their house and world.

Food Ideas:
Cottage cheese on toast with cinnamon sugar on top
Gluten free tortilla, egg whites, cheese and bacon
Chicken burritos- I use frozen and put them in my air fryer: 400* for 12 minutes

Share what you are reading, doing, or eating on my Facebook group Lifenotonthelist.com at  https://www.facebook.com/groups/495826724155937/   Like my page please.

Here’s a site for ideas of things to do while you are home.


I release my worries and my fear
with the flames that ignite and carry them away.
I will take care of me and mine.
I will be safe and careful.

I send fire to my friends who need it
at this tough time in the world.
Use it for you and yours.

We work in fire
for the good of our world.
Be reborn.
Be the Phoenix in fire
To bring our new world forward.

Blessings from the Universe.

Poem written by Katherine E. Soto

(Pic courtesy of Rewilding for Women)

Corona Covid 19 Virus Thoughts

Trying to stay calm during the Corona Virus Outbreak. A dialysis clinic is a real good place to pick up a virus. The flu goes through my center regularly each year. The cough makes the rounds through the center. We get our temps taken before we walk in and wear mask the entire time we are in there. I don’t believe it will help since Corona virus is airborne. I think this virus is an easy way to control the Earth’s population. Get rid of the old and sickly and allow the next generations to inherit the Earth. My husband and I fall into the groups to be wary of this disease. He is 74 so is in the age group targeted. I am a 21 year dialysis patient so I fit the categories being affected. I am taking precautions, staying in, only getting lunch out before dialysis at a restaurant I trust, and going to the dialysis center. It’s scary and worrisome. I have never seen the way the world is reacting to this virus. Are we more aware of it because of the media frenzy or is this thing really outrageously serious? I don’t know. I am happy to be retired from teaching at this time. I am going to put my trust in a benevolent Universe and trust it to carry us through this crisis. May the Universe bless everyone of my friends and family and keep you safe.

Loving My Pain

I wrote two pages in my journal of a letter to my pain.  I am having a lot of trouble letting go of the anger to the pain.  I am angry about pain, I am angry I have pain and I hate having pain.  I would suggest that this is a lot of my pain.  I don’t really love it right now.  I am fighting it each day.  When I tell my self I love my pain I laugh maniacally in my mind.  It is hard to manage.  What am I to do with it?  I am not asking you this question, but pain itself. Where does it belong in my life.  Why does it have to be here?  Is there a serious lesson I have to learn from it?  What am I do with my anger toward it?  

I know what love is.  This pain is not love, is it?  It loves to hurt.  

I don’t know if I can do this loving of my pain. It’s hard to do.

I live with it everyday. Try loving your pain. How do I do it?

Some of my Art

I started art classes on line through some art summits. I am taking lessons through Lifebook2020 at https://www.willowing.org/?affiliates=250 this year. These are a few of my art pieces.

I find when I paint or write it helps me to get into the flow of creativity and the constant pain I live with fades. I look for creativity to help me heal.