I wrote two pages in my journal of a letter to my pain. I am having a lot of trouble letting go of the anger to the pain. I am angry about pain, I am angry I have pain and I hate having pain. I would suggest that this is a lot of my pain. I don’t really love it right now. I am fighting it each day. When I tell my self I love my pain I laugh maniacally in my mind. It is hard to manage. What am I to do with it? I am not asking you this question, but pain itself. Where does it belong in my life. Why does it have to be here? Is there a serious lesson I have to learn from it? What am I do with my anger toward it?
I know what love is. This pain is not love, is it? It loves to hurt.
I don’t know if I can do this loving of my pain. It’s hard to do.